Each of us experiences an array of emotions on a daily basis.
Our emotions vary in how they feel, their intensity, and whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. We experience emotions in our own way and often we have beliefs or judgements about whether we “should” feel certain emotions or if they are justified. We may repress emotions and pretend they are not there and we may even feel guilty about the emotions we experience. This comes from meaning that we assign to the emotion we are experiencing.
For this article, I will focus the discussion on anger.
Anger is an interesting emotion because there is so much attached to it and there is great variability to what triggers it in different people. This is based on how we view and interpret situations, otherwise known as the filters through which we experience life.
As with all emotions, anger is an energy and it is a low level of energy. It is very difficult in a state of anger to make good decisions and think clearly. It can be intense and people will often feel it physically in their body. Anger can be constructive in certain circumstances yet destructive in others. It can have dire consequences if overly repressed as well as if overly expressed.
Many of us have strong beliefs about ourselves and how we experience anger. We have ideas such as: it’s not ok, I’m bad if I lose control, it’s too often, it’s not often enough, it’s not justified, it is justified, it’s ok to direct anger at some people but not others, etc. These beliefs will dictate how we view and experience anger and any actions or inactions we take as a result. None of this is right or wrong, it is just a matter of what works for you, and whether or not you have a choice about.
When you think about how you relate to anger, what comes up for you? How do you experience it? How do you feel afterwards? Are you relieved, embarrassed, guilty, or indifferent?
Anger can be a vehicle for self-exploration, coming from a place of curiosity.
In a moment of anger, curiosity might not be your immediate thought. But anger is a golden opportunity to learn about yourself. What’s important to you? Where might you have some values that were challenged? How has a past experience influenced how you interpreted what someone said or did? Where might there be other anger or resentments that you were not aware of that amplified this experience of anger? The possibilities for inquiry are endless.
