“Nobody is perfect, I just don’t believe in perfection.
But I do believe in saying,
‘This is who I am and look at me not being perfect!’ I’m proud of that.”
~ Kate Winslet
It is a difficult but powerful choice to stop pursuing perfection.
The pursuit of perfection takes a toll as we have this crazy image of how we are supposed to live and show up in the world. This image is not real and only leads to unhappiness.
The idea that we can never mess up, have someone who doesn’t like us, or have something not working in our life can make it very difficult when life does not cooperate. And as we all know, it often does not.
I saw the impact that perfection has on me.
One morning last week, I let my dogs out in the backyard. Shortly after, I heard barking from the front and ran to see two of my dogs in the road barking at my neighbor’s dog. Thankfully, no one was hurt. I apologized to my neighbor who was rightfully angry and I later sent an apology text. I accepted full responsibility and ensured it won’t happen again.
I am sharing this with you not because it’s a great story. It’s because of what I experienced following the incident and the observations I made of myself. Of course it is totally normal for anyone to feel bad after such an incident, but
I was really hard on myself.
After all, I am the veterinarian in the neighborhood and I don’t want to be “that neighbor“ with with the obnoxious dogs. I could not bear to think of someone not liking me or thinking poorly of me. Even though it was not me who ran into the road, I am responsible for the behavior of my dogs.
At first I wanted to vomit then I wanted to cry.
Everything in life is a learning experience and even while we are in the midst of upset and strong emotions, there is an opportunity to observe. Observing ourself creates awareness which then provides the possibility to end the suffering.
In my state of self-disdain, I headed off to yoga class during which I examined what was there for me. I asked myself,
“Why, REALLY are you so upset?”
What I realized is that it is not OK for me to mess up or have anything in my life not go well. And it is definitely not ok for me to appear poorly in the eyes of others. WOW. At some level, I need to be perfect.
The pressure of perfection is ingrained in me.
In veterinary medicine, imperfection is not tolerated. There is constant pressure to do all, know all, have instant results and always care for others before ourselves. There is little tolerance for mistakes.
As a practice owner, I was very conscious of this and would intentionally choose to let it go. I coached my staff that no one is perfect and we do not have to subscribe to any expectation of us being so.
I thought I had gotten over it.
The important lesson today was in recognizing that despite my awareness of this pressure, it is not gone and likely never will be. As with any form of personal growth or self-awareness, it is about choosing again and again to give it up and move forward and be happy. If we wait for our limiting beliefs and insecurities to go away, we will wait forever.
I know a lot of you, whether in veterinary medicine or not, share this pressure for perfection. I invite you to look at where it might be present in your life and how it is impacting your wellbeing.
Choose to let it go… every day.
Recite these words ~ Today I choose…
- To allow myself to be human
- To make mistakes
- To not know something
- To have my child or pet do something not desired
- To forgive myself when something doesn’t go right
- To relax and have fun
TODAY I CHOOSE TO LOVE MY IMPERFECT SELF! 💕
